"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways" - Glennon Doyle Melton
Fear has been a big theme lately.
Or rather, how to overcome fear. And in the last few days it occurred to me that we look at fear and grit our teeth and determine ourselves to overcome. When the reality is, the choice to not fear isn't a choice we can make. Rather, the choice to trust replaces fear. That's how we overcome.
I told her: "I'm terrified and I'm scared". I kept repeating a language of fear over myself until I sat in church where the first sentence of the sermon was: "Fear is the language of the enemy". Have you ever had those moments, where it's so clear God is calling you out, speaking directly to your situation, that all you can do is shake your head and laugh, remembering that this is exactly how He promised to work. He's still showing up.
Fear is the language of the enemy. But more than that, fear is the language that drives us to controlling, stressful, anxious behaviours. Fear is behind all of that.
Fear of getting hurt drives us to isolation and self reliance.
Fear of not being able to trust drives us to worry and stress over not knowing all the answers.
Fear that things might (will) change drives us to anxiety over the future.
Fear that people might let us down drives us to controlling behaviours that ultimate ruin a good thing.
But we don't have to worry about trusting people, when we have a God who has offered us a firm and secure place to trust.
We don't have to worry about people letting us down or hurting us, when we have a God who has promised to never leave or forsake us.
We don't have to worry about change or the future, when we have a God who has promised us a hope and a plan to prosper us.
Our fear is a reflection of a misplacement of trust - a misunderstanding of what we determine to be enough in our lives. Our fear stems from our desire to trust in fallible people and situations, hoping they will be everything for us, instead of in a good and faithful Father. And as I worked through these thoughts God spoke to my heart and asked: "Knowing all of this, am I enough?"
Is He enough? Am I willing to let Him be enough and let go of that fear?
Be messy. Let situations be complicated. Be afraid. But keep showing up. Keep pressing in. Keep seeking the only source of trust and faithfulness that matters and I promise you those fears will melt away.
It's not about overcoming fear. It's about learning where to anchor your trust.
"In reality, we have no control over anyone, only ourselves. We control our responses to a broken trust. That security we so desperately seek is found when we know the place our trust is born. We lose sight that the only place we are truly secure is in the arms of God. His trust is never broken. Misunderstood, maybe, but never broken. Sometimes, security is a byproduct of courageously trusting" - Bridgette Colleen Watson